I just saw the most recent Daily Show episode (June 15th, as I’m watching from “the future”), and they’re talking about Obama’s trip to Puerto Rico.
Hearing Obama speak Spanish is almost like eating a burrito in Korea. It does its best, comes pretty close sometimes… but there’s just always something a bit off about it keeping you wanting for the real thing, no matter how hard it tries.
People (you know those proverbial people we all know) like to casually ask “What’s your greatest fear?”
There’s always death-loneliness-regret-losing-the-one-I-love. Default. Safe.
When someone asks me, just for the sake of it I say “camel toe” and/or [insert facetious remark here], and they chuckle, maybe, and we change subjects.
But if I’m really thinking about it: what I fear most is waking up one day and finding that I’m no longer astonished at anything.
So I’m not.
I’m sitting here, anxious, thinking of the in between.
My life teems with this “in between”… a constant, moving void.
So much so that I’ve never been sure where it started, or where it might end, or what I’m seeking, or why I’m anxious about it. (And anxious about what?)
I try to pull out of this place, high and heady with thought.*
Funny. You and I were always in between Something.
And now we’re arriving at Nothing.
I guess I should relax, it’s done.
*And now, “The Space Between” is stuck in my head, because I can’t disassociate. Fuck, I hate DMB. And you loved them.
I started to feel the crisp fall air creep up on me (in other words, “Oh crap I have to wear a cardigan now?!”), so I finally got internet installed in my apartment for those days when I can’t handle the winter weather. Which will probably be every day, because my SoCal body is not going to be happy.
I think it’s notable that my friends have been pretty confused (downright appalled) wondering why I haven’t had internet at home in the past few months. Perhaps they even regarded my willpower as admirable, though that’s likely a stretch, since I could easily waste away my life on the internet during downtime at school. I did find it kind of refreshing that, up until last week, I would walk out of work and would either choose to go out or find something productive to do at home. With so much downtime, I surmised I would pick up an instrument or acquire intermediate ability in a new language by now. Or, more importantly, watch all four seasons of Battlestar Galactica.
I just heard that “California Gurls” song. Thoughts:
1. Katy Perry, you make me embarrassed to be from California.
2. Pop song lyrics are usually idiotically simple… but this is unnerving. Yes we’re “unforgettable” and “undeniable”… but your song isn’t even catchy. Pop. Fail.
3. I can’t believe this is the supposed response to “Empire State of Mind”. Someone else make some other West Coast song SOON.
4. Really, Snoop Dogg? Are times that tough right now?
5. Can’t wait to forget about this song and remember the classic California-themed songs. Yes, I’m talking about 2Pac and the Beach Boys and Phantom Planet in one breath.
Geez, I’m glad I don’t have to hear this on a regular basis (only guessing they’re playing it in every possible place merely because it’s summer and it’s about California).